Let's see yesterday i aint do much jus go to da gym n work out wit lui n pookie (his b^lood kusin). We killed our bodies beyond imagine im madd sore rite now but shit im bigger dan i eva wus n still gettin bigger n shit. WEll anyway afta dat we went bak to his krib n jus khilled n den headed to da mall wit me dressed in blue dat made feel like a krab...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! every nigga started grillin me n shit kus of dat kolor but things were str8 afta dey who i wus lolololol riteeee! Anyway we wus dere to buy sum forces...not no 20's...jus da originals but we aint find shit. So we jus khilled til i left n i wus supposed to buy "sumptin important" las nite but kuldnt go kus no1 wanted to take me but yea. Den i spent da entire nite doin SHIT! kus i culdtn be out n i feel confused n worried bout sum1 but i guess its not my business to kno but anyway im done wit dis bullshit....im out...1
U kno wat i give da fuk up on everything....seriously! No nigga wans to help me out nor do my family wan assist me in anyway. Who can i fukin trust now if every1 gon bail on me...SHIT! Afta all da things i did for dem dey jus leave me in da cold...u kno wat fuk dem all!! Shit favor for a favor my ass...i aint doin shit for no1 anymore. Well anyway yesterday wus pretty good, i had to wake up 6 in da morn to go to da dentist in BBC which wus at 8 am n toook 3 hours for an exam...tired! Den i went ova diana's krib to pick up sum Cds n den i went to da sawgrass to get a new fone...which is pretty nice n shit. Den i went to my aunts house to visit my cusin cus she wus leavin da next day back to da navy or army or wateva she in. I tried askin her for help in my situation but she left me hangin n shit...."yea we're blood, we gotta stick by together" my ass!!! wheres da help? den i left n lata da nite i had been on da fone arguin wit justine n lui to help me out but dey like leavin me dere too! fuk now i got no otha option....im dead!!! seriously im done for, but da only way is wat i gotta do today...well im out..1
Today wus pretty good u kno. I started today jus chillen listenin to muzik n talkin wit diana n den i called up my homeboi to go chill wit him at da bowlin alley! I got dere n we all had no money to bowl lmao! wow n o i saw melissa jenks n courtney workin...havent seen dem in a long ass time! well anyway we jus walked around n every1 split to dere own homes n i went to lui's to work out. We went to da gym n jus worked out everything den went back to his krib. So i wus dere we jus talked n chilled n jammed to muzik, n rhymed n shit like dat den now im at home n shit jus chillen. Rite now i think i fallen in love again...i dont kno cus she always in my thoughts n lately in my dreams its wierd but wateva i jus wished she did feel da same way u kno, but wateva i sitll love her til i die nigga!!! holla!! well im out.....1
Aight today wus str8 u kno....At 1st i had dis dream of sumptin i fear soooo much!! its not even funny no details cus it mite make me seem strange....but lets jus say it killed me inside to kno dat it mite happen one day cus of wat i wus tol a month back of a certain sum1 n a certain love n shit i dont wan it too...Anyway i cleaned da house today n den i went to da movies wit fam to watch War of The Worlds! dat shit wus sooooo fukin good..amazin how it felt so real n dat it culd happen anytime...i recommend it. So den afta dat i drove da fam home n shit n jus been bored wen i wus at mi casa. I get a call from a certain "sum1" bout o can i borrow yo fone for a week...lmao!!! wow out of no where! lol but yea is all good n den i ve beeneva since jus been writin songs n shit n plannin a big ass hiest tommorrow gotta see how its gon turn out.....shit!!! wateva n o yea las nite at da movies wit diana wus fukin crazy!!! check her journal for details....well any1 im out...1
Ok its fukin Saturday n i got nothin to do til 6 for dat fukin fite to pop off. Dis king nigga so shooked n its strange how i wus supposed take my 360 to receive my crown but now im scrappin wit 1 lol I shuld be beatin down krab niggaz cus ima CK all day everyday!!! Yea anyway i been gettin cals from every1 for tonite n shit afta i get back home i gotta fnish uploadin songs into a certain ipod n shit yea. But rite now im madd bored n every1 is out. Gio up in Orlando, Diana is on her yacht, Lui wit his gurl in Port. St Luice, Nick wit his fam, etc. EVERY1 OUT! Fuk but yea shit ima bounce n go work out n train for tonite lol so holla at dis shit lata...1
Aight today wus tirin enuff!!!! Lets see i culdnt sleep las nite cus i wus talkin wit diana on da fone til like wat 1 30am? dunno jus talkin bout shit n gang shit alot lol wow! Well den i had to wake up early n meet up wit diana at walmart by 10 30 so i took da bus transit!! AHH I HATE DA BUS! so i meet her at walmart n she got her eye exam n all....it proves to me she blind as fuk!!! One good eye n one fuked up eye wit no vision at all LMAO! So afta dat we went walkin n i wus her guide cus she had her eyes dialited n shit so she wus blind even worst for awhile. So went walkin to da bus stop cus she got in trouble las nite n got da whip taken away.
So we walkin n shit makin sum dumb ass jokes n teachin her blood n king shakes n signs...poppin 5^ on da white flag n shit i brought. So we went to da bus stop n it wus hot as a coochie wit an STD!!! Shit sweatin bullets out dere...So we wus jus jokin around wit da CD player n we wus on da grass n out of no where da bus we needed comes n im like HOLY SHIT its here n i jump off da ground into da air to catch it lol me n her get on n nex thing i kno we hopped on da wrong bus...dey fukin changed da schedule AGAIN!!!! for da 2nd time in a row wit dese bus systems. So we had to wait for another bus again! So we wus jammin to her CD n shit listenin to ol shit like back in da day. She puts on "Differences" n she like lets both sing it. So we do n i start makin a "muzik video" out of it...lololol im like on da bench den by da trash can n den on da grass n by da tree singin "Im glad u came in my life" lolol ya u had to be dere...
SO we start walkin again cus da bus dont show n we chillen in da FUKIN HEAT! n da bus passes by! GREAT but we eventually get to her job cus i didnt wan her alone walkin dere n i wanted to be dere for her n help her out LIKE ALWAYS! cus ima nice guy n love her anyway! so yea as i head back im gettin calls from every1 bout tonites fite wit dis king nigga n its maddd hot outside. I start walkin back n i go completey in a another neighborhood n got lose n im sweatin like shit out here exhausted n my legs are killin me.
I finally reach her house cus i wus gon chill dere wit her brothas n jorge i s jus dere so he wans to go look for carlos n we had to walk out again in da fukin heat n im madddddd thristy n we go find carlos n dis nigga aint wan come home....n i got madd cus we went out dere for nothin!!! n im more tired n sore dan before. So we get back n i jus start watchin tv wit lil jorge n i jus pass out on da couch for a lil nap. Afta dat me n him jus watched sum show bout wierd shit i used to watch before in da pas...Beyond Belief: FAct Or Fiction. I like dat show....So i get picked up n i really had no ride to fite dis king nigga cus my pops not gon drive out to CS so i like "re-schedule" da fite for tommorrow n ima bust on dis nigga like yesterday except ALOT worst dan fukin before...makin sure he wont get up afta dat....well iight im out...so holla at dis shit lata...1
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it: 2. Am I loveable?: 3. How long have you known me?: 4. When and how did we first meet?: 5. What was your first impression?: 6. Do you still think that way about me now?: 7. What do you think my weakness is?: 8. Do you think I will have a daughter?: 9. What makes me happy?: 10. What makes me sad?: 11. What reminds you of me?: 12. If you could give me anything what would it be?: 13. How well do you know me?: 14. When's the last time you saw me?: 15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?: 16. If so could you tell me now?: 17. Do you think I could kill someone?: 18. Describe me in one word: 19. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?: 20. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?: 21. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?: 22. If I was an color, which would I be and why?: 23. What song (if any) reminds you of me?: 24. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?: 25. Do you consider me a good friend?: 26. What makes me, me?: 27. Would you make a move on me?: 28. How often do I cross your mind?: 29. Have you ever kissed me?: 30. If so did you enjoy it?: 31. If not would you?: 32. Have you ever loved me?: 33. Have I ever broken your heart?: 34. Would you let me do it again?: 35. Do I make you happy?:
1. First grade teacher's name: I dunno i forget ppl's names easily lol 2. Last person you kissed: umm Diana on da cheek 3. Last word you said: nigga! 4. Last song you sang: Mic Check 1,2 - Juelz Santana 5. Last person you hugged: moms 6.Last thing you laughed at: talkin bout ginette wit Wah Wah lol 7. What's in your CD player: The Infamous - Mobb Deep 9. What socks are you wearing: none 10. What's under your bed: boxes of rhymes, drawings, & notes
11. Current status: playin the game rite now! 12. Current taste: huh?? 13. Current hair style: kinda scrubish spanish hair! 14. Current clothes: jus boxers 15. Current Job: A "Hustler" 16. Current longing: to be wit dat gurl i love to death! 17. Current desktop picture: a Big E symbol 18. Current worry: tryin to make money for dose UM tickets 19. Current hate: not being respected by certain peers (B's^) 20. Story behind your username: Trife Life (means a troubled or crazy life) 21. Current favorite article of clothing: customized Dipset black tee 22. Favorite physical feature(s): smile, n supposely eyes!! *cough!* 23. Last CD that you bought: Be - Common 24. Favorite place to be: Gio's krib (ahhh best times) 25. Least favorite place: stayin home
26. Time you wake up in the morning: 11 or 12 i gotta get up early u kno
27. If you could play a new instrument, what would it be? guitar
29. Current favorite word/saying: Fukin' piece of shit 30. Favorite book: Angels & Demons - Dan Brown
31. Favorite Movies: ScArFaCe!! Good Fellas, Belly, Druken Master, Rush Hour, Lord Of the Rings, & Independence Day
32. Favorite Songs: Big Poppa (Biggie Smalls), ASAP (T.I.), CoRaZoN PaRtIdO! & Aprendiz(Alejandro Sanz), The Message (Nas), K-I-S-S-I-n-G (Nas), Anytime, Back At One, One Last Cry, & STILL (Brian McKnight) Do It Like Me (Young Buck)
33. ear you talk on the phone with: right but i switch up
34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Yesenia
35. Favorite day: Friday
36. Where do you want to go: To Miami for sum reason
37. What is your career going to be: Muzik producer/Record Label CEO
39. What kind of car will you have: dunno yet! if i can get 1!
40. A random lyrics: Back like Cooked Crack!!!
41. Eye Color: brown
42. Color: red nigga!
43. Righty or Lefty: lefty
45. Zodiac Sign: Sagiterrius
46.Innie or Outtie: innie
47. Your heritage: Ecuadorian
48. The shoes you wore today: black Reebok classics
49. Your hair: messy
50. Your weakness: dat gurl i love!
51. Your fears: being alone n not knowin enuff
52. Your most recent secret: crazy n unbelievable
54. Your thoughts first waking up: SHUT UP!
55. The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: da way she moves
56. Your bedtime: weneva i wan!
57. Your most missed companion: Nick
58. Your perfect pizza: Jus dat spinish pizza....love it!
59. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: neither!
60. Single or group dates: single
61. Dogs or Cats: dawgs!
62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
63. Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
64. Cappuccino or coffee?: none!
65. Smoke: no more!
66. Curse: HELL FUKIN YES EVERY MUTHAFUKIN DAY BITCH ASS NIGGA!
67. Sing: no jus rhyme
68. Take a shower everyday: always yo!
69. Have a crush: YEAHH!
71. Think you've been in love: Yea but love suks!
72. Want to go to college: NO DOUBT! TO MAKE IT BIG!
73. Want more than what you got: who doesnt?!?!? lol
74. Want to get married: Yea i jus wan dat wifey!
75. Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: wat?!?!?
76. Think you're attractive: I guess....well so many females think im fyneee as fuk (bullshit!)
77. Think you're a health freak: at times
78. Get along with your parents: sum times
79. Play an instrument: nope
IN THE PAST 3 months:
80. drink: yea
82. Done a drug: yup yup
83. Made Out: yeaaaaaaHHH!!! i remember dat day!
84. Go on a date: yea wit Danielle
85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
86. Eaten sushi: love dat shit!
87. Been dumped: no
88. Made homemade cookies: no
89. Been in love: still am!
90. Gone skinny dipping: nope
91. Dyed your hair: HELL NO!
92. Stolen anything: i steal every fukin day
HAVE YOU EVER..
93. Had too much to drink: yea i always do
94. Been caught cheating: nope cheatin is wrong
95. Been called a tease: yea at times
96. Gotten beaten up: once in 5th grade
97. Changed who you were to fit in: hell no! i am who i am!
98. Cried at something beautiful: no
99. Spent too much money on something you didnt need?: im tryin to conserve funds in da current condition of the economy
i lost the 2 most important people in my life. My life seems to go in da wrong direction and to top it off no1 really gives a fuk bout it. Im all alone dis time...mentally being cut away inside. My temper is wat got me here and now i basically have nothin and have no1 to cheer me up. and da worst thing bout it is i cant do a damn thing bout it. I jus wish i culd go back and stop my self from writin dis note, becus of dat im sufferin so badly. It haunts me to dis day over wat i did, i jus cant believe i did wat i did. i hurt da most important and most precious gurl in my life and now shes gone... God if u r listenin i pray dat i can get back wat i lost...revive the things dat were before anything happened, where it wus peaceful and all. I jus think back on dose good times and dey were da best i jus wish sum where in life it can go back to da way dey were....i jus only wish and i pray.
today i saw dis SADD assembly and dat wus touchin. It made me realize da ppl i care bout da most which happen to be dose 2 ppl. Wat if dey passsed away i wuld never seen dem ever again and all dat wus left before dere departure wuld be dat fite...and i dont wan dat. It killed me inside and i had to say sumptin. I tol diana dat i wuld always pray for her and may God bless her always and dat i hope nothin bad ever happens to her, dat she take cares, and i gave her a hug...i kno she doest give 3 shits bout ANYTHING i said to her, but i mean well, i mean wat i say from da bottom of my heart: THAT GOD MAY PROTECT HER ALWAYS. I jus feel so crazily lonely and i jus wan go and live in dat time where things were good, if dere were only a way...
But things change and we have to move on, but i cant take da pain inside and i wan kill all dose emotions, i miss her completely and i wish i can do sumptin.....